“15 warning signs of an abuser.”

This topic strikes a very strong cord for me, I was physically, emotionally, and mentally abused as a child, and earlier this year I was raped. I have seen my family be abused, I have seen friend’s, classmates, teachers be abused and felt helpless to stop it.

Today I want to spread Dear Abby’s “15 warning signs of an abuser” in the hope that it can help other’s spot it, and either get out of it, or help other’s escape, before it is too late.

http://www.daily-journal.com/life/advice/dear-abby-warning-signs-of-an-abuser/article_ab40b6ad-135e-580d-b75c-c0e615fe96c3.html

(1) The first sign is that the abuser pushes for quick involvement, pressing for immediate and exclusive commitment.

(2) The abuser is often jealous, excessively possessive, checking your phone, e-mails, keeping you isolated.

(3) The abuser will be controlling, keeping your money, making you ask permission to leave the house.

(4) He/she will expect you to be the perfect everything, meet their every need.

(5) The isolation will become internal and external, with the abuser accusing those who may try to help as “causing trouble.” Even going as far as to take away your phone, car, computer.

(6) He/she will always blame someone else for what goes wrong, they are never at fault.

(7) He/she will make you responsible for their feelings, saying you make them angry or hurt them for disobeying.

(8) He/she is extremely sensitive, constantly complains about the little things, is easily insulted.

(9) The abuser will show an extreme cruelty and/or disregard for animals and children.

(10) He/she gets off on violent sex, finding the idea of rape exciting.

(11) He/she will be verbally abusive, degrading you constantly, turning triumphs into downfalls, cursing, calling you names.

(12) He/she will expect you to serve, obey, and remain at home so they always know where to find you and so you are always at their beck and call.

(13) They can, and often do, switch emotional states on a dime. Sweet talking one second then explosive and violent the next.

(14) They will admit to hitting past partners, but insist it was their fault.

(15) The abuser will make violent threats to you and your life, then shrug it off as normal behavior.

Please, if you see someone being abused, or even suspect it, act on it. Don’t sit by and ignore it, or make excuses that it’s none of your business. We need to take care of each other.

If you feel you are in danger, if you feel threatened at all, please contact someone. Whether it be a friend, family member, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233, http://www.thehotline.org) please reach out. You are not alone.

Together we create change.

Advertisements

Modern Day Slavery

I have been recently reading Volume 1 of Derek Jensen’s book Endgame, “The Problem’s of Civilization,” and oh boy there are a lot of problems. If you have any interest in environmentalism I highly recommend Derek’s works, he has a very unique and realistic perspective of our current situation and he doesn’t sugar coat anything, something I very much appreciate.

First off I want to say it has been a long time since I have struggled so much with a book. I am a voracious reader, and the fact that I’ve had this book over a week and I’m barely a quarter through it says something to the depth of it’s contents. There have been many times were I either found myself re-reading pages or a specific entry again and again trying to grasp a concept, or just setting the book down and staring off into space as I contemplate the true meaning of the words in front of me.

There will most likely be quite a few posts on this book, and others as I work to grasp the severity of what we have done to ourselves, and to Mother Earth, and figure out what it is I can do to help fix it.

One of the most impactful things I have come across thus far is the concept of “ghost slaves.” Derek writes of how civilization is based on slavery, always has been and probably always will be, and even today we participate in the slavery practice. Both as slaves and slavers.

Now before you get defensive or angry (much like I did) let me explain. How many people do you know who hate their jobs, in fact how many times have you heard the saying, “A slave to the institution?” I’m guessing a lot. I know for myself I am constantly dealing with emotions of inadequacy and frustration and the feeling that there is supposed to be more to life then working myself to death just to survive, and then having little to no time to live. We are a slave to civilization, and it is an atrocity that we are expected to enslave ourselves first to an educational system that is in fact doing the opposite of what it claims to do (more on that later), and then to a work force that is barely humane. What’s worse is that we have gotten used to it, and accept it as the norm.

Regarding our participation as slavers, this is where “ghost slaves” comes in. The idea is that through our use of electricity, combustion engines, we have gone from expending our own energy, to expending the energies of others, including Mother Earth, and she can’t take much more. Then there’s buying from corporations and companies that make a business out of destroying the lives of those whose waters are poisoned, air polluted by their manufacturing and other activities, the lives of those across the world enslaved to work for mere pennies to make our clothes, cars, harvest our food, and the life of the very planet we depend on for, well, for everything.

Something needs to change, and it starts with us, it starts with acknowledging there is a problem, then educating ourselves, and doing everything we can to take down those who profit off of death and destruction, and taking small steps to preserve what little is left of our very special planet.

Together we create change.

Welcome!

Greetings! First off I want to thank you for visiting, a blogger is nothing without their audience. This blog is a conduit for the voices of those ignored for too long. Those impoverished by massive corporations, those who feel discriminated due to gender, sexuality, illness, and even our planet who has undergone extreme violence since mankind decided to use Mother Earth for her resources instead of appreciation and nurturing her. I myself have a lot I want to say on environmentalism, mental illness, feminism, and a myriad of other topics, but my main purpose is to help put your struggles into words, give you a space to be heard and to reach out to others who may be experiencing the same hardships. And to do that I need your help, please feel free to comment, or e-mail me at makethedifference1@outlook.com. Together we can create change.